We originally envisioned the Turbo Toilet flush to sound like a jet engine, but we ended up going with a regular toilet flush distorted in Audacity instead. All of the lines were scripted except for the second half of Customer #1's part, which Jason improvised.
ANNOUNCER: Are you tired of your toilet clogging? Does your shit frequently overflow? Well fear no more, for all of your waste removal nightmares have been resolved! Introducing the Turbo Toilet, the most powerful and innovative shit-pumping device on the market.
CUSTOMER #1: Ever since I started using the Turbo Toilet, my bathroom time's literally been cut in half. The Turbo Toilet literally sucks the poo out of my asshole, and it also got rid of that abomination demon baby that my daughter had out of wedlock. Thank you Turbo Toilet, I love you, and God bless America.
CUSTOMER #2: My toilet was just a standard bidet, and well, it was nice, but there was much to be desired. Now Sebastian and I are just raving about how clean our colons are!
CUSTOMER #3: For so many years, I've had to dig little graves for my delicate little friends. But now that I have the Turbo Toilet, I can simply flush them down right into the sewer. There's no better way to start my Sunday mornings than by tearing up my Turbo Toilet, and getting to the 6:00 AM church service.
ANNOUNCER: For only 27 payments of $19.95, you can have the Turbo Toilet delivered today! Call 1-800-FLUSH-ME within the next 20 minutes, and receive a 12-month subscription to Consumer Digestion free! The Turbo Toilet, the rectum revitalizer.