The Wrath Of Jobs

from by The Natty Bros.

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The Wrath Of Jobs was originally entitled "Basement Star Trek". Sky got the idea after the group recorded Podcast #2, and the Comcast plot line derived from real-life issues with Comcast's service. The first takes of the skit were done by Chris as Kirk, Sky as Chekov, and Pratik as Spock, but we decided to flip roles later in production.

lyrics

KIRK: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before!

KIRK: Captain's Log, Stardate 42354.8. Our destination is Planet X, an unexplored body deep in space. My orders are to investigate a mining colony within the main region, and to make contact with the local inhabitants.

KIRK: Spock, status report.

SPOCK: Captain, thrusters have been engaged, and all systems are online.

KIRK: Excellent, full speed ahead.

SPOCK: Captain, there appears to be a problem.

KIRK: What is it?

SPOCK: We're receiving some network interference.

KIRK: The Internet's down again? I just called Comcast on Tuesday!

SPOCK: I've already contacted Comcast Customer Service, and there doesn't appear to be any outages at this time.

KIRK: Well, did you try restarting the router?

SPOCK: Of course, but that didn't fix the issue.

CHEKOV: Uh, Captain, I've reviewed the browsing history from last week, and I've noticed something, uh, irregular, Captain.

KIRK: Irregular? How so?

CHEKOV: Well, Captain, I found about 200 records of browsing activity at the, uh, infamous porn site, boobookittyfuck.com, Captain.

KIRK: But that's impossible, the network security blocks untrusted web sites.

SPOCK: Yes, except for one terminal… your's, Captain.

KIRK: Are you accusing me of watching extreme clown bondage porn on the ship's master terminal?

CHEKOV: Well, Captain, I never specified the precise content that was viewed...

KIRK: Silence! There will be order on this deck!

SPOCK: Captain, I've run a system scan and it appears that a virus has been detected.

KIRK: A virus? How can that be? Our whole network is running on Macs!

SPOCK: And if we don't act soon, the virus will infect the entire infrastructure.

KIRK: Son of a bitch. So what are our options?

CHEKOV: Uh, well Captain, we could run anti-virus software to eliminate the malware, Captain, but, um, Captain, I'm afraid that the only Mac-compatible software is, uh, out of our budget, Captain.

KIRK: My God… what's our alternative?

SPOCK: We may have to switch to PC.

KIRK: No!

CHEKOV: Well, actually Captain, for the same amount that we spent for, uh, your master terminal, Captain, uh, we could buy and upgrade news PCs for the entire ship, Captain.

KIRK: I understand… but then we wouldn't have all of the pretty icons and user interface options. Usability would decrease tenfold!

SPOCK: I'm sorry, Captain, but we have no other choice.

KIRK: Jobs… Jobs!

credits

from Platonic Plankton From Pluto, released April 1, 2011
Skyler Newman as Kirk
Pratik Patel as Spock
Jason Van Slyke as Chekov
Music by CBS Studios Inc.

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The Natty Bros. Baltimore, Maryland

Comedy group from Baltimore, MD

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