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Chad lives in his own world. He sees himself as a contemporary knight, combating injustice and performing worthy deeds for those less fortunate than he. It's too bad that no one else really cares, for he has a lot to offer. If only he could take a different approach, he would certainly garner better results. Oh well, shun the non-believers, he would say. Just grab an orange Mondo, take a ride in the Chariot, and everything will be okay.

lyrics

CHAD: Behold, for I am Chad, ruler of Piedmont High. Me and my disciple, Sampson, require beverages to quench our thirst. Let me ask, Sir Clerk of Convenience, do you have any orange Mondo?

CLERK: Uh, no. We don't have any orange Mondo.

CHAD: I see. Well, do you have any Capri Sun?

CLERK: We don't have that either.

CHAD: Okay. Sampson! Sampson! There's no Mondo and no Capri Sun. What else can we prescribe?

SAMPSON: How about Sunny D?

CHAD: Sunny D? A logical choice. Do we have any Sunny D?

CLERK: See that sign there that says Sunny D? There's probably some there.

CHAD: Oh, I see it. Thank you, good Samaritan.

CLERK: Yeah, whatever.

CHAD: Sampson, this is the Chariot of Chad. Behold its magnificence.

SAMPSON: Wow. Can I touch it?

CHAD: Yes, but you must bless it.

SAMPSON: Bless it, I will.

CHAD: Let's ride!

CHAD: Principal Parker!

PRINCIPAL: What are you doing here, Chad?

CHAD: Prince, here me out. My disciple, Sampson, has a personal issue that he needs to inquire.

PRINCIPAL: Alright, what might that be?

SAMPSON: Well, sir, I feel that taking Physical Education shouldn't be required in the curriculum.

PRINCIPAL: And why not?

SAMPSON: Well, I feel that a student's personal fitness is their problem, not the school's.

PRINCIPAL: I see.

SAMPSON: And, well...

CHAD: Look Parks, what my colleague is trying to say is that he would like to change his schedule to his liking.

PRINCIPAL: I'm sorry, Chad. There's rules, and you've got to follow them. I don't have time for this.

CHAD: I see how it is. Sampson, let's get out of here.

CHAD: Damn it, Sampson, we've been foiled again.

SAMPSON: Well, we gave it our best shot.

CHAD: No! I will not stand for this insolence. Look Sampson, it's us against the world. If we don't stand for what's right, no one will. And I, Chad, son of Steve, ruler of Piedmont High, will make it my personal mission to see that every student gets the schedule of their liking, and that the world will see the evil of the governing bodies for what they truly are!

CHAD: Sampson, are you with me?

SAMPSON: I don't know man, I have homework.

CHAD: No! Sampson!

SAMPSON: Sorry man, I just gotta go...

CHAD: No! Ahhhh! Sampson!

credits

from Platonic Plankton From Pluto, released April 1, 2011
Skyler Newman as Chad
Pratik Patel as Clerk/Principal Parker
Jason Van Slyke as Sampson

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The Natty Bros. Baltimore, Maryland

Comedy group from Baltimore, MD

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